Menya uburyo 7 bwo kuvuga ku buzima bw’imyororokere hamwe n’umwana wawe

Abana bagira amatsiko yo kumenya utuntu n’utundi. Ababyeyi bagomba gufunguka no gusobanurira byimbitse abana babo.

“Njye nabuze aho mpera ngo mbiganiriza umwana wanjye” ” Nigeze kuganiriza umuhungu wanjye ku rukundo rimwe, gusa numvaga bihagije”. Ibi ni bimwe mu bisubizo ababyeyi batanga ku mpamvu bataganiriza abana babo.
Ngendeye ku mpuguke Deborah Roffman, umwarimu akaba n’umwanditsi wa Talk to Me First. Avuga ko “biba byiza gutangira kuganiriza umwana kuva ku myaka 6. Iyo utabashije kuganiriza umwana wawe munsi y’imyaka 8-9, ahanini ibyo yize abifata igice.”

Impuguke Roffman asobanura ko ibintu bitanu by’ingenzi abana baba bakeneye kumenya ku buzima bw’imyororokere ari ibi:
Bakeneye kwigishwa ku rukundo rutaryarya, amakuru ku myitwarire myiza n’imibi ku buzima. Uburyo bwo kwiyubaha, ibyo kuvuga mu ruhame n’ibyo kutavuga, uburyo bwo gukora amahitamo meza.

Muri ubwo buryo twabazaniye intambwe 7 zo gufasha ababyeyi kurera abana basobanukiwe n’uburyo bwiza bwo kwifatira ibyemezo.

1. Uzuza icyanzu unavuguruze imyemerere ipfuye.

Karen Rayne, umwarimu ku buzima bw’imyororokere muri Texas, n’umwanditsi kuri Girl yandika ku rukundo, imibonana mpuzabitsina no kwiyubaha; avuga ko ababyeyi batagomba kugereranya no gutekerereza abana babo ibyo bazi.
Ndetse yatanze ubuhamya bw’umwana w’umukobwa, akijya mu mihango bwa mbere yarihebye cyane yumva ko agiye gupfa abura nuwo abibwira kuko yabanaga na se gusa.
Abana bakura amakuru atari yo mu rungano cyangwa ku mbuga nkoranyambaga rero haba hakenewe inama, n’amakuru yizewe avuye ku mubyeyi kugira ngo abashe kurema icyizere mu mwana.

2. Kugaragaza impungenge ku kiganiro no guhumuriza umwana kugira ngo yumve ko ari ibisanzwe

Ku babyeyi, ugomba kwereka umwana ko ibintu ugiye kumubwira bishobora kumutera isoni ariko mugomba kubiganiraho kuko ari ingirakamaro. Iyo ni yo ntambwe ya mbere.
N’iyo wowe nk’umubyeyi waba wumva ari ibisanzwe ugomba kuzirikana amarangamutima y’umwana wawe, we ashobora kumva atabohokeye kubivugaho. Rayne aravuga ati:”nk’umubyeyi birakwiye kwereka umwana wawe ko ubohotse ndetse n’umwana wawe akumva abohokeye kukubaza buri kimwe cyose. Ndetse biba byiza ubaye uri kumwe n’undi muntu umwana wawe yizera, nka muganga ,umufasha cyangwa umutware wawe.

3.Igisha umuryango wawe indangagaciro bagomba kugenderaho.

Roffman avuga ko kandi biba byiza uhaye abana bawe nk’indangagaciro bagomba kugenderaho kugira ngo bazane ibijyanye n’ubuzima bw’imyororokere mu buzima bwabo bwa buri munsi, ukabigisha no kubizirikana kuva bakiri bato.
Nk’urugero umubyeyi ashobora kumwigisha kuvugisha ukuri no kwiyubaha… “ umubyeyi ashobora kuvuga ati” ubu aho uhagaze uranyegereye. Ubu warenze imbibi zanjye.” ‘akigisha abana be ko bagomba kugira imbibi, ko nta muntu ugomba kugukoraho nta ruhushya wamuhaye.’

4. Basangize inkuru zo mu buzima bwawe ubaha inyigisho.

Roffman avuga ko mbere yo gusangiza abana bawe ubuzima bwite bwawe, umubyeyi agomba gutekereza impamvu abubabwiye. Utekereza ko umwana ari bwigire iki muri iyo nkuru?” intego ya mbere igomba kuba ariyo gufasha umwana gutekereza ku cyemezo agomba gufata.
Umubyeyi kandi agomba kuvuga ku buryo umwana abona umurongo cyangwa aho yahera abaza ibibazo. Ikindi Rayne aragira ati:”hagomba kubaho imbibi mu biganiro mugirana nk’urugero:”icyo kibazo ni ibanga nzakikubwira Numara gukura.”

5. Kwita ku budasa n’imiterere itandukanye y’ibitsina byombi

Umwe mu bahanga Ohlrichs ashishikariza abantu bakuru kwita ku gutandukana mu miremere y’abahungu n’abakobwa ku bijyanye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Aravuga ati:”ntago abahungu bose bahora bifuza gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, ukagaragaza ko umuhungu wese ari umugabo kabone niyo yaba atarakoze imibonano mpuzabitsina.”
Yibutsa ababyeyi no gusobanura ko nubwo bose bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina ariko abahungu n’abakobwa bashaka imibonano mpuzabitsina mu buryo butandukanye. Nk’urugero” Abahungu ntibasobanukirwa ko umukobwa ashobora guhagarika gusomana kubera ko ari kwibaza ku kiri kuba aho ku ruhande.’
Umubyeyi agomba gusobanurira umwana we ko mugihe habayeho ikibazo hagati y’abakundana bagomba kuzuzanya no gufashanya. Asaba ababyeyi kandi gusobanurira abana babo ko nko mu gihe umwe atishimye cyangwa batumvikana bishobora gukurura kudahuza hagati yabo.

6. Koresha ibinyamakuru cyangwa andi masoko y’amakuru mu gutangira ikiganiro

Roffman aragira ati “Buri kintu cyose mu buzima gifite aho gihuriye n’imyororokere” umubyeyi ashobora no gushaka uburyo abihuza n’ubuzima busanzwe nk’umuziki, siporo, n’ibindi.Hari nk’imbuga zigira ibiganiro byigisha ababyeyi uburyo bwo kuganira n’abana.
Ohlrichs asaba ababyeyi kubaza abana babo nk’ibibazo utagusha ku ngingo neza ukoresheje nk’ibinyamakuru:”ushobora kuvuga uti:’ nasomye mu binyamakuru ko icya kabiri cy’urubyiruko bari mu rukundo, mubitekerezaho iki?’”

7. Sobanurirwa icyiciro umwana wawe agezemo.

Abantu bo mu myaka itandukanye bahura n’imbogamizi zitandukanye, umubyeyi ashobora kuvuga ati” umwana wanjye yajyaga amvugisha kenshi ariko ubu byaragabanutse, ni iki ndi gukora kitari cyo?”
Gusa akirengangiza ko uko umwana akura agenda agira ibitekerezo bitandukanye, akenshi abana kuva ku myaka 11, abakobwa baba bari kugenda bahinduka, hamwe uba usanga bashaka no kugira ubwigenge. Umubyeyi afite inshingano yo kuguma kwiyegereza umwana we, mu gihe abona yatangiye guhinduka, nk’igihe yatangiye gukundana cyangwa gukunda.

Rayne Ati”nkitangira kuvugana n’umwana wanjye w’imyaka 9, yambazaga ikintu kimwe gusa:”ese abantu bakundana mbere yo kubyara umwana?”
Uw’imyaka 13 we yabimbazaga abitsimbarayeho ati:”ni gute wakumvisha umuntu nkawe kukubera inshuti idasanzwe?”” ese watereta umuntu ukuruta?” “ese mu gihe ndi umwangavu amabere yanjye arekera gukura?”

Ibuka ibi:

Burya umubiri w’umwana ushobora gukura vuba kurusha ibitekerezo, umwana akeneye gusobanurirwa.
Abana bagira amatsiko yo kumenya utuntu n’utundi. Ababyeyi bagomba gufunguka no gusobanurira byimbitse abana babo.

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