Impamvu nyamukuru zitera gutandukana kw’abashakanye

 

 

Abanyarwanda bavuze ukuri bati nta zibana zidakomanya amahembe. Ibi bishatse kuvuga ko mu mibanire hagati y’abashakanye ibintu byose bidahora bigenda neza. Habaho ibiza bene byo bagafatanya kubicyemura cyangwa se bakitabaza inshuti n’imiryango bakicara mu gacaca bagasasa inzobe nuko ikibazo kigashakirwa umuti. Gusa nanone hari igihe kwihangana k’umwe mu bashyingiranywe kugera ku iherezo bikaba ngombwa ko habaho gutandukana, nuko abahoze ari umugabo n’umugore buri wese akajya kubaho ubundi buzima bushyashya aho bamwe bahitamo kongera gushyingirwa abandi bakigumira aho.

 

Buri wese agira impamvu ze bwite zituma ahitamo gutandukana n’uwo bashyingiranywe, gusa hari impamvu zigenda ziza ku isonga mu gutera gutandukana hagati y’abashakanye ari na zo tugiye kuvugaho muri iyi nkuru.

 

 

Impamvu z’ingenzi zitera gutandukana

 

Gucana inyuma

 

Impamvu iza ku isonga mu zitera gutandukana hagati y’abashakanye ni ugucana inyuma. Nubwo gucana inyuma ari ijambo bamwe basobanura ukundi, ariko hano turashaka kuvuga ibintu byose by’ishimishamubiri ukorana n’uwo mutashyingiranywe. Nubwo buri wese ashobora kwerekana impamvu yamuteye kubikora ashaka kwirengera ariko guca inyuma uwo mwashyingiranywe akabimenya biri ku isonga mu bitera gutandukana.

Gucana inyuma biri ku isonga mu bitera gutandukana

 

Umutungo

 

Umutungo ku mpande zose zishoboka uri nawo mu bitera gatanya. Byaba kuba umwe yinjiza amafaranga menshi kurenza undi, yaba kuba umutungo mwari mufite wazamutse cyangwa wamanutse, ndetse no kuba umwe mu bashyingiranywe awusesagura cyangwa ashaka kuwikubira nabyo byose biri mu mpamvu zitera gutandukana.

ifaranga ritandukanya benshi

 

Kutaganira

 

Ibiganiro byiza ni ishingiro ry’urugo rukomeye. Kutaganira bituma buri wese akora ibye uko abyumva bityo ugasanga gushyira hamwe biragabanyutse nuko unaniwe kubyihanganira agahitamo gusaba gutandukana. Niba ikiganiro mugirana ari intonganya gusa cyangwa se kuvuguruzanya werekana ko ibyawe ari byo bizima gusa urugo rwanyu ruri mu manegeka kuko hakenewe ibirenze aho. Kuganira ku mikoreshereze y’umutungo, ku bitagenda neza (mudatongana) no ku mishinga n’imigambi mufite nibyo bikenewe.

 

Intonganya za buri gihe

 

Byaba gutonganira ko imyenda yapfubye cyangwa ko watashye bwije cyane, ikintu cyose kirimo intonganya kandi zihoraho cyangiza umubano. Ntabwo rero abantu bose bihangana bingana hari unanirwa kubyihanganira nuko hagakurikiraho gutandukana.

Intonganya zihoraho ziri mu bisenya ingo nyinshi

 

Umubyibuho ukabije

 

Nubwo ushobora kumva ko bishekeje cyangwa se bitumvikana ariko kwiyongera ibiro bikabije ku mugore bishobora gutuma umugabo we atongera kumwishimira naho ku mugabo bishobora gutuma ubushobozi bwo gukora imibonano bugabanyuka kandi ibi byose bishobora gusenya urugo.

 

Kubura ibyo wifuzaga

 

Bamwe bashyingirwa bafite mu mutwe wabo ibyo bifuza kuzabona bageze mu rugo (marriage ideal). Kenshi rero agera mu rugo akabona ibihabanye n’ibyo yatekerezaga nuko urugo aho kumubera umugisha rukamubera ikigeragezo. Niba warifuzaga umugabo muhora muganira ugasanga uwawe avuga amagambo abaze. Ugasanga wifuzaga umugore uzi guteka neza yahagera ugasanga n’ibishyimbo arabipfubya…

 

Kudasabana

 

Kutumva ko wowe n’uwo mwashyingiranywe mwabaye umuntu umwe nabyo biri mu bisenya ingo. Hamwe muba mutameze nk’umugabo n’umugore ahubwo mwimereye nk’ababa mu nzu imwe gusa. Uku gusabana hanazamo imibonano mpuzabitsina. Igihe cyose mutagira igihe gihagije cyo gukina, guseka no kwishima, gutemberana agatoki ku kandi, kuryoherwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, biba bikurura ubwigunge kandi iyo buje haba hari abandi ku ruhande biteguye kubumara uwabugize bityo gusenyuka k’urugo kukaba kuri hafi.

Gusabana byongera urukundo n’imibanire myiza

 

Kubura ubwuzuzanye

 

Abanyarwanda bati nta ngizi yigira. No mu rugo niko bimeze, hakenerwa ubwuzuzanye hagati y’umugabo n’umugore mu bikorwa byose na gahunda zose zireba urugo. Kuganira mujya inama y’icyakorwa no kuganira ku bindi binyuranye kandi hagafatwa umwanzuro wumvikanyweho ni ingenzi mu babana.

 

Gushaka utiteguye

 

Wateye cyangwa watewe inda, imiryango se ibigushyizemo ni zimwe mu mpamvu zishobora gutuma ushaka utiteguye. Uku gushaka utiteguye bishobora no gutuma ushaka uwo utishimiye cyangwa udakunze ahubwo kuko ubuze uko ugira cyangwa ubuze andi mahitamo. Hari n’abashaka kuko hari inyungu runaka bakurikiye ariko ku buryo wamubaza niba azi icyo agiye gukora mu rugo ukaba wasanga nawe atazi ibyo agiyemo.

 

Guhohoterwa

 

Nubwo ihohoterwa mu ngo ryahagurukiwe ariko ntitwavuga ko ryarandutse. Guhozwa ku nkeke, gutotezwa, gukubitwa, gukoreshwa imibonano mpuzabitsina ku ngufu ni zimwe mu ngero z’ihohoterwa rikorerwa mu ngo. Ntabwo twashinja uwahohoteye mugenzi we kuba umuntu mubi ahubwo amarangamutima ye ashobora kwangirika bitewe n’akantu gato kaba akavuye kuwo babana cyangwa se ahandi ndetse n’indwara zo mu mutwe zishobora kubitera.

 

 

ihohoterwa riri mu bisenya ingo

 

Dusoza

 

Izi si zo mpamvu zonyine ariko ni zo ziri ku isonga kandi ni impamvu zose zishobora gukosoka mu gihe koko waba ushaka gusigasira ubusugire bw’urugo. Nta rugo wasanga rubanye neza 100% buri munsi ahubwo hagenda hazamo udukorosi kandi niko ubuzima bukoze. Ndetse n’abo wabonaga ari icyitegererezo hari igihe ubona byabananiye bagannye urukiko. Niyo mpamvu ikintu cya mbere ari ugucyemura ikibazo kikiza. Witegereza kugeza ubwo bigera aho bitabasha kwihanganirwa. Gira umutima w’ubugwaneza, impuhwe n’urukundo kandi ushyire imbere ubusabane. Fata akanya uganire n’abandi, ugishe inama aho ubona bitagenda neza ndetse no mu gihe ubona nta kibazo gihari ntubure kumva inama. Gerageza gukorera ibyiza uwo mubana kandi igihe cyose acitse intege cyangwa aguye mu ikosa umubere umufasha n’umujyanama kuko ni kimwe mu mpamvu zo kubana kwanyu. Mu gihe munaniwe kumvikana ku ngingo runaka mufite abavandimwe n’imiryango n’inshuti mubitabaze kandi musase inzobe.

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